Love is beautiful and loving someone is even more beautiful! You have someone to share your day with, midnight chats/calls, dates etc. You get to explore the five love languages with that person and the likes. Also, you feel secured around this person. You can give your life to this person and vice versa. Promises made. Romantic sayings and expressions were shared. Emotions transfered. Hearts connected. You are in LOVE. Suddenly, this person changes and you realize that all his promises were empty. ALAS! he left you, for somebody else, or maybe worse, he cheated on you and lied about it or whatever it was. In short, he broke your heart!
Unfortunately, this leads to feelings of regret, remorse, anger, revenge, depression, frustration… and even worse, depending on how much you had committed your heart, body, and resources to this doomed relationship. Wait, before we continue. This is not a “how to survive heartbreak” or a “how to get back my man” or the likes post. So I won’t be diving into the complexities attached to the matters of love and relationships here. The focus of this article is to call your attention to the money-related lessons you can learn from heartbreaks, especially as a Lady (Guys, leave here now! go and read another post. LOL). That said, let us proceed.
FOR INSTANCE…
Some ladies after a heartbreak, go totally broke. Here is an example. There was this lady who was in a relationship not just for love but also for the money. Her guy was her main source of income (Yeah, she practically lives on the guy’s money). The guy was willing to spend on her as long as she was willing to spend the weekend with him. Either way, both parties were spending something. He gave her massive money for her upkeep, got her a car and anything she wanted as long as she would keep spending the weekend with him! She was ready to give him sex every weekend. Interestingly, the beautiful damsel totally fell in love. Unfortunately, this cruise of love would soon end abruptly. The relationship continued for about a year, and then suddenly, the guy gave her a quit notice. That was it. Her lovely heart was shattered, alongside her financial life!
You or a close friend, associate, colleague must have experienced something similar or even worse.
My concern here, however, is to draw out few financially related lessons you could pick from such experiences. Please note, not all heartbreak experiences teach something about money. However, many do.
Lesson 1: Independence
First lesson; independence. As a lady, learn to be self-dependent. In our contemporary world, young men do not want a lady who is a liability, who helps him spend more money than he is earning. Don’t blame him, if he does not value or respect you. You made yourself a puppet by always demanding him to spend. Hence, he can choose to leave you anytime for another.
Moreover, no man wants a lady who cannot afford to buy basic necessities, e.g. underwears. So, the point is, build yourself. While he takes care of you, take you out and spend on you, you also earn his respect in your ability to sometimes say no to his “gifts or giveaways”. A man values you when he sees that you are also sourcing to make ends meet on your own end.
How to be independent…
Firstly, becoming an independent lady begins with your MINDSET. Stop seeing your relationship as an employment opportunity where you get paid. It isn’t an entitlement. Both parties have a responsibility to commit resources (money inclusive) towards one another. Secondly, discover yourself and find your passion. Thirdly, acquire a skill or get a job. Keep building and adding value to yourself. When your man sees that you are an asset, he would hardly be able to let you go. So dear lady, build on your intellect, come up with massive business ideas for yourself and even your man, help him manage his spending. A state of independence would not only command respect for you in the relationship, it would also increase your worth, and as a result, boost your self-esteem.
Lesson 2: Invest
Furthermore, invest! Don’t lavish. In the scenario above, the guy collected the assets (e.g. the car) he bought for her. If she had been smart, she would have invested some of the money the guy was giving her. Alas! She wasn’t! She had no savings or investment plan, she lavished all her “income” on clothes and parties. Also, she did not build herself or anything close to it. She is now smarter now (smiles).
Lesson 3: Don’t let anyone take advantage of you
The first two lessons apply to ladies who are not financially smart. This particular lesson applies to ladies who have made great efforts in their finances. They are financially independent and strong also. Unfortunately, they lavished their hard-earned money on their “soul mates”. Many of such ladies do so, as a result of a desperate need for “LOVE”, while some simply because they are naive. For some, her “Mr Right” never loved her. He was there because of her money. She did not realise this until it was too late. Only a few lucky ones, who realised it early, escaped the disaster. But for most ladies in this category, the deed had been done. The precious heart has been knocked into pieces.
It is fine to spend on your man but doing the spending alone is not ideal. Be sure he is also committed to this “LOVE affair” as much as you are. Take precautions. Don’t overspend. Do not allow him to take adavantage of you.
In conclusion, as much as you can, avoid heartbreak. And if eventually, it happened to you, pick your lessons, get help and move on, love again – to love is beautiful. Moreover, don’t forget to be independent, invest in yourself, open your eyes, be smart!
However, if you choose not to follow the lessons, who am I to stop you? We can do anything for LOVE right? Smiles
Did I leave anything behind? Please comment below. Gracias!